So, I'm 53 Today

 I don't go telling everyone about when it is, in fact mostly I hide it. I'm just evaluating where I was a year ago and what progress, if any, I've come to. 

1. I was a student last year at this time, struggling through my final course. The capstone. The hardest assignment I've ever had and wanted to drop out of college about midway through. Even had the email typed out. But I contacted the professor and he really told me I was on the right track and was further along than I thought I was. Passed with an A but I was hating life. 

2. A job interview is hard to come by. I apply for jobs almost daily. I can't even fall into an interview right now. Well then there now, let me rephrase, I can get a job if I move. I don't want to move. So...

3. I'm a really good gig driver. With my retirement, my bills are paid. With gig money, I can live better. I listen to audiobooks. I don't know if I've covered this in a previous post or not, I'm not reviewing to find out. Right now my favorite is Expeditionary Force and Wandering Inn is tied for the top spot. Sadly the Expeditionary Force series has come to an end. I'm listening to Book 15 now, just started this morning. The next Wandering Inn book will be out later this month and I've got it preordered. 

4. While I live well, there's little margin for error right now. As long as I do what I'm doing, I'm good. I'm definitely happier. 

5. The Parable of the Mexican Fisherman. If I haven't posted it before or written about it, then go look it up. It's brilliant and I wrote about it in an assignment before. The gist is that I've achieved what I want to have a happy life. I've got a good balance going on right now. It'll also get easier over time and eventually I will get a good break and a new job will pop up. But for now, I'm good. 

What's next? I don't know. I'm just being still for now. 

Living in a Holding Pattern

2023 is about an hour and half away and 2022 has been really weird. Post pandemic Earth is weird. I'm trying to figure out things on my own. I am drifting right now. I do gig driving to make hobby money and all to supplement my pension income. I don't have much happening and that's the feeling I never wanted.

Really since graduating this past spring I've kind of been living in a holding pattern. I've got nothing to really work towards and therefore no purpose to work within or goals to work towards. I've been applying for jobs within my degrees and can barely rate an interview. Which is odd, I've got one heck of a work ethic. I always come to work, I always do my job. That used to mean something. 

Regardless I've started towards a direction. It's not a purpose yet, in fact it might not be more than a hobby but it'll be fulfilling while I job hunt and gig drive. I'm not hurting, all my bills are paid, and I'm well fed. I may not make a lot of headway in paying bills off faster but for now I'm comfy. 

So here's what I'm going to do to break out of this holding pattern. I'm going to have themed dioramas made in 3D stl files. Then I'm going to obviously print them and then utilize a skill set I've built up since 1986 when I first went to school to study autobody repair and I picked up my first paint gun. 

I'm going to paint these custom dioramas. Also I'm going to film them on a time lapse and start my own youtube channel with that content. Basically it's going to scratch some creative itches and will be unique enough to capture a really small, micro niche. I've got to find my purpose again. I might as well utilize my skills while I'm trying to find someone to pay me for utilizing my skills. 

One Year

 I wrote an email to Chianti last night. It really summed up what I was feeling about today as right now, one year ago I was cleaning out my locker and preparing to leave where I had worked since 1992. This really seemed to say everything I wanted it to say. 

I realize you won’t read this until tomorrow but it’s 1 year. One weird, wonderful, terrifying and scary, but much needed year of change and growth. 
I feel I’ve come to terms with a lot, went and tied up a lot of loose ends. Still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up other than content. Maybe that’s one of the hardest things to learn and articulate. Friday night at the blue note one of my former coworkers came and had beer with me. 
I was telling him about actually being happy and at peace. He was telling me about how much more money he needed and content wasn’t enough for him. He’s about ten years older than me and has had a lot of health problems. He is the one that over bought a house after his wife divorced him for cheating. But he’s a good guy, just has different wants in life. Trying to tell someone that life isn’t all about money and material possessions to someone that judges himself to others by how nice his stuff is compared to others is just a weird conversation.
For example after I showed him how to make a budget, I told him the house was more than he could afford. A house payment was one of his paychecks when he bought it. But he continued to want a new truck because the other guys in the shop had one. So he wanted one too. 

So he tortured himself with new car ads. He literally bought a $5k TV because it was the best he could get and then wasn’t able to watch anything on it because he couldn’t afford cable for a year. 
Me telling him about contentment in life wasn’t based on finances was like explaining Astrophysics to a chipmunk. Not that I understand astrophysics but I do understand happiness now, at least my version of it. He still has over 3 years left before he can get social security at 67 and get his pension.

My new goal is really simple. Pay off everything (which is nearly always my goal it seems) and be capable of living on my pension alone. Well and continue to write this novel I’m working on and hire it to be narrated by a really good professional narrator. I think it’ll be interesting and I can possibly finish it by spring! I flesh out more of the characters every day whether I feel like it or not. I get a lot of gold nuggets out of just writing character situations and add depth to them.

I know, I’m rambling. I’m sorry. Tomorrow, the 12th, is going to be an emotional day. I know you and I reflect a lot on our lives. We’ve talked about it a lot. I think what this year has shown me is stop being a spectator of your life like I was for 30 years, and participate in it. That probably doesn’t make sense. Didn’t make sense as I wrote it. Seems apt though. 

A Small Semi-Sychronicity

 I find coincidences in life fascinating! Check out this small series I have had today and tomorrow:

I did my 1,000th Spark Delivery today and have a 5.0 customer rating!

My car hit 29,000 miles EXACTLY when I was a couple of blocks away from getting the oil changed so the tag reads 34,000 EXACTLY.

Tomorrow I will have been retired for 1 year. 

Had lunch with TeeHee today, always a great pleasure!

So it's not much really but it's just weird little things at one time, enough so I bought a lottery ticket, which to be honest I'd have bought anyway. 

1 year though, that's crazy to think back on one full year of doing what I want basically. I may or may not have more thoughts about that tomorrow, we'll see. 

No More Needed Distractions

 For years while I was working my full time job, I'd find a hobby, diversion, something to dive headlong into. Guns, binge watching DVD TV series (before binge watching was a thing) scotch, films, MMORPGs, cigars, the theatre, anything really to distract me from the reality of the soul grinding job I had. After a while, sometimes years, I'd move onto something else. 

Read the blog, you'll see this pattern. 

Now I don't have that need. I bought some hobby things but I don't feel the need to escape into them anymore. I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing but it is something I'm very aware of. I mean I was constantly doing stuff to keep me from being unhappy with reality. I know I've written about this lots, I'm not going to go through all of these posts but I'm sure of it. 

Even college was a huge distraction. Thankfully things turned into a great unexpected blessing! Then I had no idea the union would pull this stunt with the pension. No one did. But it happened and I was not only able to take advantage of it but I had also set myself up for a new set of skills (along with two degrees) to provide myself a nice income should I ever decide to take advantage of it. I mean I planned on retiring early with degrees BUT the difference was the union moved up my time table by years. I wanted a degree and then dabble in transitioning to a new income and then retire on my terms. 

Life happens so adapt, be adaptable, improvise, overcome. (Gunny Highway reference)

I'm still driving Spark but honestly I think the easier days will be coming to a close sooner rather than later. Biden drove the gas pries sky high as he sets about destroying this country. So a recession is coming quickly while everything is more expensive and there are less orders coming in each day. The ones that do aren't tipping much, if at all. I might have to utilize my new skills to supplement my supplemental income to my retirement income, lol!

I'm not worried, all will be fine. 

I Did It

 Just a couple of short hours ago I got my grade back on my final capstone project. A! I have earned a master's degree from SNHU! This journey has been so difficult and long! I've gone through all the details as they all happened so I'm not going to rehash but just want to say how honored I am, how grateful I am, and how humbled I am now. 

2015 was a long time ago and now on May 24th, 2022 my last step was completed. What a ride this has been and what a future I have now. Future Grandkids, let me tell you something, if someone like me can do something like this at my age, then you can do something amazing too. 

This has been something amazing!

Finished

 I just wrapped up my discussion posts which was the dot on the "I" and the crossed "T" which means I'm only waiting on grades now. My academic career has come to a conclusion with no more work for me to do in any course, at any school, for any reason. 

Now I've got freedom. The freedom I never thought I'd have this side of 67!!! 

What's next? I don't know yet but when I do, I'll be here to tell you. 

With this free time it might be time to blog on a regular basis! Might write another novel. Might not do anything. 

The Final Step

 This journey started in 2015. I've talked about it a lot. After retiring in October I've gone through a lot of changes. 

Last night I turned in my final for my master's degree. What started with insomnia turned into planning for a future, which turned into a choice I had to make, which turned into freedom.

I've talked about all of that but now, now I've got 7 days remaining in school, technically. I'm waiting on my grades now and waiting on peer reviews of my work and work that I can review this week. 

Officially, for the first time since I was barely a teen, I won't have any professional or academic responsibilities. That's a big deal. I've never had that....freedom. While most of my fellow students will be searching for a career next week, I'll start where they want to be. Retired and free.

There is a real chance I won't pass. I don't feel good about my final but it is what it is. My professor says I'm doing good but I don't feel that way. 

So, what does the next few weeks hold? 

We'll see! It's exciting, freeing, and an amazing time! 

Orkut

 Orkut was a Google product that gained in popularity mainly in Brazil where "with 90% of page views in Orkut accessed by users in Brazil (Feigenbaum, 2014)." Orkut appeared to be famous because it encouraged ranking your friends on different levels of sexy, cool, or trustworthy you found them to be. 

The article states that, "In order for brands to be successful in Brazil, they must allow users to blog, engage through social gaming, and incorporate online video into marketing campaigns (Translate Media, 2015). Brazilians are especially responsive to brand strategies that include online video, something that was difficult through Orkut." While I don't believe this strategy is exclusive to Brazil, catch all applications are popular around the world. We just did the one about Weixin, the Chinese spyware app which was a catchall app. 

The case study is about how a multitool platform worked in Brazil and "Early users were eager to try Orkut because of Google's strong reputation. Orkut also carried a high prestige factor due to its invite-only membership list." By creating an element of exclusivity, Google helped create buzz around their platform. However as with most Google products, privacy was a concern. "In Orkut, the user privacy concerns were neglected and stagnant. The platform allowed anyone to view anyone’s profile and his contact information (if it was added by the user), unless the person was on a person’s ignore list(Singh & Shreya Singh, 2020)."

While privacy wasn't the only issue plaguing Orkut, Google continually redesigned several features leaving users confused about what worked and what didn't work. Performance issues with slow loading pages were a constant hinderance as well that contributed to the failure. 

Multitool platforms are great, when you can do more in one place in a convenient way, that's the dream. That's why old fashioned department stores went away in favor of large scale WalMart style stores where you can do a lot of things in one place. When you can combine video, audio, chat features, and make it easy to find your friends then you have a good idea going.

Feigenbaum, G. (2014) Brazil to Google: please don't close our beloved Orkut. Available at http://www.vocativ.com/tech/internet/brazil-google-please-dont-close-beloved-orkut/ (accessed February 22, 2022).

Singh, S., & Shreya SinghBio-Statistician by day writer by night. If i am not writing then find me singing tonight. (2020, June 9). 7 reasons why orkut failed. Feedough. Retrieved February 22, 2022, from https://www.feedough.com/why-did-orkut-fail/

Weixin

 Ok, when you get older you can get grumpier. It's a fact of life. Yes I would resist the urge to yell at kids to get off my lawn if I lived in a neighborhood where that was a thing. 

You are young, you can operate faster than the world does and nothing is a big deal. 

Then you get a bit older, you realize you don't know as much as you think and you start to accept some limitations. 

A bit older still and you just want a good night's sleep. 

Then one day you realize the world is moving one mph faster than you can and that's when you start to realize you're getting old and things are passing you by now. 

That's where I find myself with Weixin. It's a nightmare of an app used in China that combines the functions of several social media platforms. I can't find anything good about it.  

"For those of you who don’t know, WeChat is the most popular messaging app in China with well over 600 million users. It’s an alternative to services like Facebook Messenger and WhatsApp, a lot of which are actually blocked in the country. The Chinese government is doing everything it can to get rid of foreign services in an effort to control online activities and get access to as much sensitive data from local companies as possible."

I think that says enough about Weixin and why it's evil. 

WeChat accused of sharing users' personal data with Chinese authorities [update: WhatsApp now blocked in China]. Android Authority. (2017, September 28). Retrieved February 9, 2022, from https://www.androidauthority.com/wechat-sharing-personal-data-chinese-authorities-802548/

What They Don't Tell You About Retirement

You still have thought patterns that you have to get over. Priorities that were engrained over three decades can be purged now because they no longer have any bearing over your life. Also retirement income goes quicker than you think it does so for you young readers, kick into your 401k at a higher amount. 

You'll be grateful you did later! You're doing your future self a massive favor by giving them the resources they need to enjoy the life you want them to.

Priorities change and that's what you start to understand. Everything that your professional life was structured around has changed, I mean academically you realize retirement brings change but you don't realize what that means until you experience it.

A weekend is fine, two days off but you know that you are going back in to the same job.

A vacation is the same, just extended a few more days.

Leaving the job is vastly different because there is a defined ending and after that is the wide open promise of opportunity. 

So kiddos, if you get a matching 401k as a job benefit, kick in as much as they match. That's going to benefit you so much later on! You'll thank yourself so much and curse yourself so much if you don't.

The Pros of Social Media

 Anyone who knows me knows I've come to loathe social media. It creates a distorted reality where everything is a highlight rather than the grind of the heavy lifting of existence. Everyone wants to say, "Hey! Look at me! I did X today! Aren't I special?" 

No one posts that they forgot to get milk on the way home from a 10 hour day and have to go back to get it when they want nothing more than to just relax for a few minutes. Instead they have to get back out there, fight traffic and crowds, get their milk and get back home. Twice as exhausted, anxiety rising, it's dark out now, and you've got time to eat and get to bed so you get to do it again the next day!

Social media, in its current form, has become the tool of the stupid and arrogant. TikTok's entire business model is to do this very thing in short format! Something brief and entertaining enough to keep the user from turning it off to increase screen time.

My blog assignment this week is to talk about a breast cancer meme on the most evil of social media sites, Facebook. 

"One of the most powerful forms of social media mobilization is cyberactivism. Here, individuals utilize the Internet to promote a particular cause or charity." Yeah...maybe but what about the causes that go unheard? People at the end of their rope but because they don't have a following their pleas go ignored. Social media dehumanizes the individual and creates a character instead. A character that may have similar traits but a character and not a real person. 

The thing is that the charity decided to get the message out with double entendre prompts where users gave their bra color. "One private message asked females to change their Facebook status to the location where they like to put their purse. These status updates would read “I like it on the floor” or “I like it behind the couch.” So you can see that while this is harmless fun it can send a message that might not be intended on a platform everyone can access. 

I have zero use for social media and it's a problem during this term because both courses deal with me having to create social media accounts again. I have to get on Twitter again, wade through that cesspool and find marketers on there to follow. 

So to sum up, there are no pros to social media. There is an entire world out there to live in and experience with real people. If you don't like the world we have, well you aren't going to fix it by sitting on a social media site and complaining about it. 

Warby Parker

 Warby Parker is a business that was started by friends to help change the prescription eyeglass market. "Their business model focuses on online distribution, rather than showrooms " 

They market directly to the consumer rather than distributors in order to keep the costs down. They are known mainly from their commercials in which they show frames being manufactured and packaged. 

With a friendly sounding voice actor, the commercial shows a practical side to making frames for prescription lenses. The genesis of the idea was that most optometrists sell their own frames and lenses in showroom with their practice. A one stop shop for convenience. The problem the friends wanted to overcome was the higher costs associated with this practice. 

You can pay a premium for convenience. While Warby Parker isn't quite a convenient as a local doctor, it is considerably cheaper! Also as with a lot of corporations now like Bomba and their socks for the homeless, they are helping their communities by giving away glasses to those in need. "The company is able to provide a pair of eyeglasses for a person in need for every pair of Warby Parker glasses that a consumer purchases."

If I wore glasses I'd probably use a local doctor anyway and keep my dollars in my community. 

Mahoney, L. M., & Tang, T. (2017). Strategic social media: From marketing to social change. Wiley-Blackwell.

Hello 2022

 Come here often?

I've been burned before, the last two times were rough. It really wasn't me, it was them! They were horrible! They had promises of a bright new future only to wake up to two years of the world going crazier each day. 

Yeah, so I'm not getting my hopes up this time around. 

Want a drink?

Let's do this....

Goodbye 2021

So there we were as a planet and then....2020. It was universally the worst year in living memory and the pandemic was just part of the 2020 mess. 

It was the year of preparing for this year. I had to get 2020 behind me and get through April to get qualified for my pension which I covered in previous posts. 2020 was a stepping stone to 2021 which was my main event year for my professional life. 

Usually when I felt like it I did a year end wrap up but I feel I've documented this year pretty well, at least the high points. So here are a few notes:

Earlier in the year we lost Rush. 

Fast forward to the last day of 2021 and we lost John Madden a couple of days ago and Betty White today, 18 days short of her 100th trip around the Sun. 

The pandemic has not gone away. 

I'm happily retired. 

I've spent a lot of time with my daughters. 

I'm creating a hobby room upstairs for a variety of hobbies.

I've binged so much TV I'm pretty sure if there were an event, I'd be Michael Phelps!

I'm definitely a fan of edibles and not so much flower. It's alright but I like the longer lasting effects of an edible. 

2022 will be a good year! 

One Week

 Today marks my first week of retirement. 

So far it's similar to having a week off of vacation. I did catch myself more than once remembering to wash my uniforms only to remember once again...I didn't have to anymore.

I know that eventually I'll have deal with increasing my income, which again I've prepared for since 2015 through higher education. But for now, I'm content and at peace with my decision. I know that the same stuff at work is happening right now and even if those players were gone, it'd be happening to someone else but it'd be the same stuff. The same problems, the same everything. 

I didn't come back right away and write out this post because I wanted time to assimilate into this new life. I need to feel out what I'm doing, grow in this new found free time. I need to just exist for a while and let things be. 

Made coffee this morning, the past few mornings I've made hot tea but today felt very coffeey. Right now I'm just being still and letting things happen. 

Retirement Day

 Today is the day!

Yeah, Friday was my final full day and all but today is the official last day! I had lots of people show up (Including Thing 1, Thing 2 had been exposed to Covid and chose to be safe) to the Blue Note Friday night and had a great time! 

Today is the end of my career though. I go in for a few hours, clean out my locker, sign my final papers, and say my goodbyes! 

The place I've manned for 30 years is not my place anymore. You all know the story and why I've done this so I probably don't have to rehash it here in this post. 

A new world opens today. The possibilities are endless and they start today!

My Final Friday

 Yes, the time has finally come. This is my final Friday and I'm pretty happy!

Tonight is my retirement get together at The Blue Note and I've waited for this day for years now. Tuesday is my official last day. I go in and out process, clean out my locker, walk around and say my goodbyes. 

When we first found out about the changes in the pension system and how it was ending in its current form, I resigned myself to working until I was 67. Then we had the individual meetings with the pension reps and I learned I was eligible. I'm sure I blogged about that before. 

So this is the best case scenario for me in a "Plan B" situation. "Plan A" was to retire next year after my house was paid off so since that was off the table, I scrambled and prepared myself to leave this year. Hard choices had to be made but I feel I've made the best decisions I could make with the information I had at the time. 

I've prepared as well as I can prepare, arming myself with 1 degree and another one nearly finished. 

I've gotten myself in a good financial position. 

I've got a plan to apply my degrees. 

Now before that happens, I take 90 days to rest. I get used to my new life, build a new routine. 

I'm ready. Yes I'm absolutely nervous, anxious, and afraid of the unknown. But I'm also feeling great about the future. I'm ready for all of the possibility and promise yet to come. I'm as ready as I can be to get my future started.

4 Days Left

 It's a bit after 5:30 this morning and I've already made taco salad and that'll last me a couple of days of great eating! Love me some taco salad! Today will be my final Wednesday at the base. Every Wednesday at noon they run a test of the emergency sirens and it sounds like a tsunami siren. It's got that "whoop" rather than a standard Oklahoma tornado siren. 

Today is it! The last time I'll be at work for that test. I'm good with that. My anxiety is fading away, my excitement is growing!

I'm feeling the excitement that I felt a year ago. I mean it's really easy to feel excited about things that are life changing but still a long ways away. When it gets close then you start to get a bit nervous, then anxious, and then anxiety ridden but I've sucked it up and getting through it. If nothing else I can deal with adversity without melting down.

It's good right now, it'll be good tomorrow, it'll be good next week, and good a year from now.

Day 6 Is Done

 There are personnel changes going on at work now. My replacement won't be in the shop for maybe another month but that triggered other moves as one person with no seniority will get bumped to nights and one on nights will exercise his seniority to move to days. On a temporary basis, until my replacement comes into the shop, the guy on nights will be working in my place on days until that happens.

Yes, I have to drive on base five more times now. October 12th is fast approaching and again I'm filled with mixed emotions on everything. For a fact I know I'm making the right decision. I've put in the time and effort to prepare for this as well as I can. I also know I can't work there until I'm 65, it'll kill my spirit so much that I'll be a shadow of a man before long. 

I've always been an individualist, depending on myself rather than on others unless I have no other choice. This is a true test of my belief I've held since I was a kid, I will be depending on myself now rather than a fairly secure job for my income. 

I have the qualifications, the drive, the education, and the experience to make this happen. Make what happen? Well, that's up in the air right now! But in the next few months I'm going to flesh it out and define the business plan. I guess you could say that's part of the fun!