I Hate Being An Ex Anything

So there I am, I'm watching YouTube videos and happen to run across videos I've shot myself. Yeah that happens when you log into your account.
I was watching Colder Weather and It's Been A While videos in their various forms, live, on screen lyrics, official, well you get the point when it dawned on me. Being an ex sucks.

An ex employee, an ex high school student, an ex youth. Yeah some people always think the future is brighter while some think of the past as the good ole' days.

I'm both.

I think the future is bright and I also long for the good ole' days but being an ex doesn't lend itself easily to either. It more easily lends itself to the present, the time being but without planning or without thought to the past.

My hopes lie in the future, my memories relish the past. One of the best times I've ever had was the big "Framily Christmas" I shared with my loved ones at Amy's house. That picture of us all on the staircase was truly a magnificent moment.

And yet, here I am, looking to the future but longing for the past. I cherish my daughters and tell them nearly every day I love them and that they make me one proud daddy. I look forward to holding my grandchildren and I look forward to many things that I can't even fathom at the moment.

I've got a tenacity in me, I'm a natural non-conformist. When someone tells me something, something inside my head asks an opposite question of "What if?" Most of the time I never voice it out loud but when it's overwhelming I do.

So yeah, sometimes I hate being an ex but there are things I'll never be an ex at.
I'm glad you know those things.