Today I turn 51. It occurred to me several weeks ago that my grandparents were younger than I am now. My grandparents in their prime, when I was older than a child but not an adult if that makes sense. They've all been gone for many years now and I've got so many questions for them, sadly those questions will never be answered now. I'll circle back to this in a bit.
April is a big month because it's the month I become officially eligible for my 30 year pension. I've explained this before so I won't elaborate on why I've got to take it this year. I will apply in the first week of May. I'm targeting September 13th because as my paydays fall, I can get a complete cash out of all my leave that next payday and I'll get my first pension check on October 1st.
April is also big because my oldest and dearest friend, one of my Northern Brothers's birthday is 23 days from now. We plan on celebrating our turn to 51 by going to see The World of Outlaw races in Ames Iowa the last weekend of April. When I return I'll apply for my pension.
Since that date is getting closer my anxiety has gone straight through the roof about retirement. I understand it's natural, especially at such a young age. Ha! Young! At one time I thought 25 was old! How little did I know!
Anyway, February 19th I bought a brand new 2021 Subaru Outback Onyx Edition. I needed a car that would last me for years and handle the adventures I plan on taking. Adventures you say? Yes adventures! In October I'm leaving. I called SNHU and asked to have the October through December term off, they said it was great and so we scheduled it. It won't set back graduation very far, either way it'd be a fall graduation next year for my master's degree.
So yes I'm leaving. I'll have plenty of money. I'll have a new car. I'll have my mom watch my elderly dog, Oscar. I'll have The Most Innocent Girl in the World watch the kitties. I'll have all the utilities paid up two months in advance. and I'll travel where ever I feel like. I've always wanted to see a lot of the country. Now I'm going to take that opportunity and do it.
What if there's another pandemic?
What if some unforeseen event happens and I can't travel?
There's so many what ifs that I can't count them all but this is for certain, I'm leaving for a few weeks and learning how to take care of myself. Not in the self reliant way, I'm a master at many things and have survival skills to survive almost anything. I can shoot, fish, camp, and get lost and be just fine. I'm talking about taking care of my being, my soul. I've sacrificed so much over the past 30 years and now finally, even though this is sort of forced upon me prematurely, I'm going to take this time for me.
Here is where I circle back to grandparents. I'm not a grandparent yet, not putting pressure on my daughters or anything it's just not the time yet for them. I am confident in the next few years I will become a grandparent and I want my grandkids to know about me, but what if I'm not around to tell them all of the things they need to know? What if they want to know about Granddad and there's no one to tell them?
Then it dawned on me how long I've written this blog and the record of thoughts it contains. They can know me as if I'm sitting right there telling them all of the stories I've told my readers over the years. I'm going to endeavor to keep a better record than I have over the past few years. I can't guarantee I'll be as prolific as I once was when I posted every single day for over a decade but I'll try to post much more as I get closer to my freedom and my new found journey of self discovery.
I don't know if you know this or not but earning a master's degree is a lot of reading and writing. So I usually come home, grab a beer, and starting doing homework. Tonight was a bit different, I thought about writing this blog post on the day I officially broke 50.
Here's to the future!
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