I'd Like To Think

That I'm a minimalist. I'd like to be able to think that all I need is a small house, a fire to read by, and some running water.

I know that I'm not though. I know I need electricity, I know I need the net, I know I need so many of the modern conviences such as a refrigerator, soap, and a microwave.

Yes I would like to think that I could just be thrown into the wilderness with a tent, rifle, and a knife and be able to live just fine but I'm lying to myself.

I would like to think I'm a very simple person and in a few ways I am but the truth is I'm not. The truth is that I'd like to have a nice house and a reliable vehicle to transport my film equipment from shoot to shoot that I'm directing.

My fantasy is that I would like to be able to deal with any situation at any time in a fair way that makes everyone happy. The truth is that it isn't possible and when such a situation arrises more than likely I'm going to make someone pretty upset.

My fantasy is that I could live the rest of my life dependent upon only myself. The truth is that even I need human contact and to be surrounded by friends, even though I'm very comfortable in my own skin I accept the need and desire to have brilliant conversations and stimulating friendships. No it isn't a weakness at all, it is just the way I'm built as are most people. I freely admit to crying while watching Frank Capra films. Feel like laughing at me about it? That's fine, I'm who I am.

My fantasy is that Lynyrd Skynyrd's Simple Man sums me up pretty well. The truth is that it simply doesn't.

My fantasy is that I'm as physicaly tough as I used to be. The truth is that I'm not. My hands aren't as quick, I don't hit as hard, and I get winded much faster than I used to.

My fantasy is that I could invent a time machine to travel back and correct my life's mistakes. The truth is that even if I could I don't know if I'd like who I am now without all of those bad decisions to give me the pain that defines my character and integrity.

My fantasy life and my reality life have vast differences. So the next time you see me you can just imagine what I'm thinking;)