It All Began After We Got There

Yes, I knew it would happen though I really did.

We left town around 2p.m. for a OKC Hornets game. Well when we arrived in OKC my friend and co-worker wanted to stop by a Sam's Club to get a infared trash can, I kid you not.

No I'm not worried that he might read this. He doesn't own a home pc nor would he know what a blog was, even if he read it. I also don't believe that anyone I work with knows that I write this blog or that I even exist for that matter.....

Anyway after TWO Sam's Club visits failed to produce the desired and now elusive infared trash can/gonna be post Christmas present my friend Bub suggested that we get a drink now that we had three hours to kill before tip off.

Did I mention that we didn't have tickets yet?

Anyway we stop off at a place that he claims to frequent when he is in OKC, however he had never been there this early in the day. It was about 4 p.m. by this point.

We entered The Playhouse, yes it was a titty bar. Now I have nothing against a good titty bar however I know the game after having plenty of long conversations with former strippers and I know going in that they are working. I am nothing more than a mark to them to get them free drinks, food, drugs, or money. I have no illusions that they like me or their job for that matter which puts us with something in common ironically.

So we walk in and I have to use the restroom since I have had a full bottle of water on the trip down and couldn't find one in either of the two Sam's Clubs that we visited previously. So Bub pays my cover charge and I ask where the men's room is. The music is pretty loud and I see him saying something, possibly drink related, I hold up my finger in a "I'll be right back" fashion and by the time I'm finished he has purchased me a yellowish drink.

Now anyone who knows me knows what I drink when I drink is a Tequila Sunrise, unless it is a occasion that I drink wine with my photographer friend or it is unbearably cold out and I fix a hot chocolate with Irish Cream which I have found to be quite warming:) Anyway, we sit down and I notice that the DJ is dressed like Penn Jillette. So I pick up my drink and nearly spit it out, I am not sure what Bub ordered for me at this point but I am sure that it is very sour and has practically no alcohol in it.

I am starting to rethink my decision to use my "I'll be right back" finger.

So I content myself with watching the game on TV between Boise State and Boston College....much to my dismay a stripper comes and sits down at our table. She asks my friend's name, he replies "Bub" to which she replies "Bug"?

I again nearly spit out the mystery drink.

"Bub" he replies again closer to her head and much louder this time....he then tells her my name which reminds me to take a baseball bat to Bub's knees at sometime in the future. So she then looks at me and I turn on my "Don't even think about touching me" vibe and she latches onto Bub's arm and starts to stroke his thigh.

I hated to do that to him however better him than me in this case. She chats him up while I continue to watch the bowl game while another stripper on stage has climbed to the top of the stripper pole and is trying to get my attention. I glance in that direction just in time to see her slip and bang her head with a audible thunk on the stage.

I again nearly spit out the mystery drink.

I don't think that is exactly what she was going for but I was amused....probably not as amused as the other four or five patrons in the club but I smiled to myself anyway while the stripper at our table had now started to sing the lyrics to whatever song it was that was playing....and now was even more involved with Bub's lap. I decided that it was time to get myself and Bub another drink. A Bud Light for him and a Tequila Sunrise for me. So I get up and head over to the bar and order said drinks. He pops the cap off of the beer and gets a glass for my drink. He puts the ice in, the Tequila, and then the orange juice....and then some other kind of juice that might have been cranberry juice....which is wrong and not very tasty....and then the grenadine on top of that.
At this point I was sure of one other thing....these drinks were expensive.

Nine dollars later I return to the table to see that the stripper has conned Bub out of a shot. So I sit back down and try to enjoy my butchered drink when the crackhead stripper at our table starts to yell at a guy who is trying to tip a dancer....the poor guy looks around to see the crackhead at our table yelling that she is going to divorce him.....seven or eight times.

I don't think the stripper on stage was amused but it did look like she had recovered from the rough landing on the stage.

The crackhead finished her shot and said she was going to dance next and was probably going to have some heavy metal played by Penn Jillette because it was time to get this party started. She asked Bub several times if he was going to watch her dance next....did I mention several times she asked this? So she says she will be back in a minute and goes and talks to Penn.

She walks back by the table and again mentions that she is up next and if Bub is going to watch her dance....I kid you not.

Well she gets on stage to the tune of Journey......yeah, time to get this party started.

So I again go back to my second mystery drink while Bub watches his new crackhead stripper friend dance.....while I again try to watch the bowl game.

So a few strippers later and the crackhead didn't show back up....which was nice. Bub tells me that after I finish my drink we'll leave and go find tickets to the game. Two big gulps and a very nasty drink disappeared.

So we head downtown and I get out in front of the Ford Center while Bub finds a parking place. I go in to the box office find out that they are sold out and catch up with Bub at the end of the block. I tell him the bad news and we decide to park and find something to eat and try to find a scalper before the game starts. So we head to Bricktown and eat while nothing very interesting happens. It was a good meal. We locate a scalper and purchase two tickets thirteen rows off of the floor for fifty dollars apiece. They were good seats behind the home goal. Which resulted in something cool!

We got to have the balloons that the fans wave while the opposing team is shooting free throws, which tonight was the Houston Rockets. We win with 1.9 seconds left on the clock 92-90.

All in all a very interesting and fun day even though the crackhead was the highlight of the day.