Captain Insaneo Kept Me From Buying Bacon!!!!

That is Captain Insane with a pronounced O at the end. I'm sure that every one of you know a Captain Insaneo. He also works at my place. And he is insane!

He has worked where I work nearly as long as I have minus a year or so. This man has a sound effect for every single action he has. Every possession he owns has a sound effect and he knows them all....and shares them in abundance with us at work.

Fortunately for me he works nights and I only have a half hour with him. His co-worker on nights however isn't so lucky. She is on high blood pressure medicine and anti depressants....and I'm sure she needs them!

Captain Insaneo rattles non stop about NOTHING, EVER! He can go for literally HOURS and say nothing. He will follow you if you try to get away. He will trap you in a room by yourself and leave you to ponder the afterlife after about thirty seconds.

Captain Insaneo once stuck his hand under a running lawn mower to see if the blade was turning.

Captain Insaneo once had surgery on his elbow and kept moving it while saying, "Man, it hurts when I do that!" and KEPT MOVING IT and kept repeating it for HOURS!!!!

Captain Insaneo usually trades off his vehicles after repairing them, he trades them for junk and takes a loss. Rinse, repeat. He traded off every vehicle he owns for a daily driver for his wife and himself, a travel trailer, a boat, and a motorcycle he has had for a week for a 1999 Harley Sportster. He has insurance on it however he doesn't have the title....its owner is in jail.

Captain Insaneo was once on some pain medication that didn't agree with him and he would call the shop at 8:30 in the morning and try to talk to whatever poor sucker was unlucky enough to answer the phone at that time. So we would pawn the phone off to whoever was present at the time and LEAVE. He would then proceed to call the big boss and give him advice....for at least a half hour per day. He was nearly fired after this episode because he would fight with the supervisors and everyone around him. His wife surprised him by taking him to the doctor for a drug test!!!! He promptly responded by making an appointment for his wife to have a drug test!!!!

He was soon after taken off of the medication and returned to his normal insane self.

Captain Insaneo bounces off of the walls with his hyper activity and hyper talk, along with his sound effects. He always comes up with a saying such as the classics:
"Hot Dog, Hamburger!"
"Far Out, Solid, and Groovy!"
"Uden Uden!" (one of the sounds of a engine makes in his world, it now represents an answer in the affrimitive or slang for Captain Insaneo himself)
and a cackling laugh that if you see me and say do the laugh, I'll oblige you along with a couple of imitations.

My co-workers and I have all become very good at our Captain Insaneo imitations, he represents a source of entertainment in a warped way.

So there I was in the grocery store buying some food. I had the eggs and started to head over to the section where the bacon was when I spied Captain Insaneo!!!! He was there with his wife in the bacon section! I got out of that part of the store without him seeing me and thought that if I ran around the other part of the store for ten minutes he would be gone and I could then bet my bacon.

Nope. I did that. He was still at that section! It is a small section but ten minutes later he WAS STILL THERE WITH HIS WIFE!!!!

I said forget it and checked out, it just wasn't worth it.